As I sip Whiskey and Soda from my Pabst Blue Ribbon jar-cup, I am happy that I stole it.
I stole the jar-cup from a bar in downtown Vancouver. Me and some random person that I met that night whose name I don’t know because I only saw her once afterwards but she is probably totally worth this run on sentence and rad as can be, decided that these mugs were awesome and that we each needed one. We also decided that it wasn’t technically robbery, it was more of a science experiment. It should be noted that alcohol is an important factor in this story.
She snuck hers out in her purse. I held my mug in my hand with a jacket draped over it; so expertly, in fact, that not even the people I was there with noticed.
The time I saw said girl afterwards? I went with a friend to one of his friend’s apartments and she just happened to be there! I asked her how her science experiment went. Evidently it went just as well as mine [NOTE: I am currently drinking from the mug in question.] That’s right, I even got it over the border! Well, not THE border, but a border [NOTE: I am currently in Calgary, Alberta. Vancouver, B.C.’s neighboring province.] Yeah, Greyhound. Betcha didn’t know you were harboring a LEGIT fugitive when ya took me back to cow town, did ya!?
Your loveable delinquent,