Assorted Writings
My Gal

My Gal

What her name was, I can’t recall; only that my sister called her Pancake Face.  We met in kindergarten.  She was much more than a pancake face; she really killed in her velcro shoes and Julia-Louis Dreyfus haircut.  This gal was the talk of the teeter-tots back in the early nineteen-nineties.

I liked her a lot.  One morning before kindergarten I waited atop the playground for her.

“Why are you waiting for her?” asked my best friend, Sam.  Sam didn’t yet get girls.

“Because I like her,” said I.  I needed not explain myself any further, and Sam left to play soccer.  I continued to wait, gazing across Old Yale Elementary School’s field to her house.  She had once pointed out to me that her house was visible from my perch.  It soon became our perch.

When she arrived I dug through my pocket for the gift I was waiting to give her.

“Here,” I said.  I put the ring in her hand.  It was a Ninja Turtles ring.  She loved it.

Fast-forward your VCR’s to the next year, Grade One.  Our teacher, Mrs. Bouche (Boob-Shag, we called her) had decided we’d sing a song in class.  As we sat on the floor singing, my stomach began to hurt.  The pain got worse and worse until I started crying. 

My gal put up her hand.  “Curtis is hurt,” she said.

The song was stopped and I was taken to the nurse’s office.  I sat there in pain, alone and shivering for quite a while, I remember it very well, actually.  Scared and in pain is how I remained until my gal waltzed into the room, escorted by Mrs. Bouche.

“The nurse should by here any second,” Mrs. Boob-Shag announced as she closed the door and left us alone.

I turned to my gal, she now sat right beside me on that big sheet of paper they roll over the bench in a doctor’s office.  Without me needing to ask, she explained.

“I told the teacher my stomach hurt so I could stay with you.”

What a gesture!  What a fond memory.  I only wish I could remember more of Pancake Face.  I moved to a new school the next year, and a new province of Canada four years after that.  I would later learn more about women, but never again would I know such simple kindness.  I’m sure she got in trouble when her parents came to pick her up and discovered that their daughter was not sick at all.  I know, as I remember seeing her the next day, that she didn’t care.  She asked me if I was okay. 

Recently I realized that what I’m looking for in life is what I had in kindergarten.  Thanks, my gal.  I wish I could remember your name, I’m glad I remember your kindness.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

A while ago my Grandpa was at my house and I finally convinced him to let me record some of those old country tunes that I love to hear him play.  Here’s one of them, “Take These Chains From My Heart,” written by Hank Williams and preformed by Ralph Mutter.

I’m Sick

There’s that certain type of cold that only chicken noodle soup and Jurassic Park can cure.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
30 plays

This song will be on my second (solo) album (Basement Recordings 2) whenever it actually gets released.

DEPRESSION, BOOZE, AND SONG

I used to get drunk in Don Bosco Field,

With Topher, Berger and Lars.

Walking home with a mickey of whiskey,

And a discount Pizza 73.

Now I get drunk and write these stupid songs,

But they always turn out wrong.

‘Cause I only write when I’m not all right,

And I feel like shit tonight.

Well I can’t explain,

Why I’m so fucking insane.

Depression, booze and song.

I used to sneak out of my bedroom window,

Hop the fence with my guitar.

We’d then start a fire and songs were required,

In my old pal Ms. Maxwell’s backyard.

But I tend to get too down to be part of that crowd now,

Sometimes I see her on the bus.

She says we should hang out and asks when I’m free,

But it wouldn’t be how it used to be.

Well route twenty-nine,

Like those old highschool times,

Has seemed to pass right by without me.

Today I stumbled upon some of those old songs,

I recorded back in highschool.

They were all about misery, which means I couldn’t have been as happy,

As I thought that I used to be.

‘Cause the grass is always greener on the other side,

Which means your memories lie.

I guess what I mean is I’ve never been happy,

But back then I was a bit more alright.

Time tends to fly,

And as my life slips by,

I think I’ve done everything un-right.

Warning

Do not stand on the yellow line…But isn’t that just one of those warning signs that’s only there to fill up otherwise blank space?  Like where it says to limit your intake to one can a day on energy drink labels.

Pretention

Pretention

Is there anything more pretentious than describing yourself as an intellectual?  Possibly describing yourself as the son of God… But then, HE was an only child.

I posted this song on Tumblr a while ago, then I made a music video for it.  As a sort of comment on how hard it is to find actors, the video is cast entirely with puppets and three Curtis’!  Enjoy.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
10 plays

It has come to my attention that I haven’t posted any music here on tumblr that really represents the kind of music I normally make… This post is me fixing that issue.  Written by myself and recorded with Krista Dinsmore (as the band City Solstice!)  Listen for Krista’s awesome bass solo; it will rock the argyle off your socks.

Six Drinks

Six drinks will make you witty,
Twelve drinks will make you blind.
The world has made me dizzy,
This whiskey’s spun my mind.
I’m nearly blind again,
We’d better slow down, my friend.
Never again.

Being nice it got me nowhere,
Now I’m trying to be cruel.
Now I’ll never give a care,
So that I’ll never play the fool,
Ever again.
You’re just a one-night friend,
A one out of ten.

Don’t try to have a purpose,
Just try to have some fun.
Well I tried to find a meaning,
And I found there wasn’t one.
You’ll never exist again,
You’re just a person not a friend,
My interest is pretend.

I could be anything,
Well I could be your brother,
Or I could be your lover,
I could be your friend,
But it’s all pretend tonight.

Dear Heart

Dear Heart,

You make some very bad choices.  Me and Brain have decided we are no longer listening to you.

Cordially yours,

Curtis

RE: Cary (it was too long to post as a reply)

Mad libs

Dear Cary,


I appreciate you. You have a nice goatee. You make me think. You

Should party. Someday I will party. You + me = dinosaur-trainers.

If I saw you now I’d fist-bump. I want to fist-bump you. I

would build a lego-tower just

for you. If I could sing you any song it would be awesome.

We could be platonic friends under the stars.

Love,
Curtis

(P.S. this was only gay in a straight kind of way.)